This past week I read “The Game” by Neil Strauss – I had heard a lot about this book when it came out in 2005, but at the time I didn’t have any reason to read it since I was married. More than a decade later and two years after my divorce I thought – why not give it a shot? Let’s see if I can learn anything about how men interact with women.
I have never been so thankful for being married in 2005! If you haven’t read the book, it was quite the phenomena in its time. I don’t want to ruin the pick up “games” but the one that I was particularly happy to have avoided was the magic tricks. Apparently so many men were trained to do these tricks that they had to come up with some other gimmick since all of the girls already knew them. Wow!
The Game was written before online dating became “a thing” so guys still had to actually make an effort and go out to meet girls. These past few years I have wasted endless hours swiping through dating profiles and though I am infinitely amused by how men represent themselves – and yes, there are trends with tigers, babies, puppies, selfies at the gym, selfies in the bathroom, selfies in the car, etc.… – you are not original, trust me. Amazing to me though is even when you “match” with a guy they will rarely talk to you first – it is hilarious. In their profiles they whine about no one talking on the app and no one meeting them, but they don’t make any effort. They wait for the girl to initiate the conversation.
My take on this situation though, being the Alpha Female that I am, is that if I have to initiate the relationship I will have to initiate everything else too and then ultimately I will be accused of being controlling - You know its true. I find this to be a no win situation. What happened to the man asking the woman out? And if that rare event happens, it seems the best you might get is an offer for coffee, which may or may not qualify you to eat something – really? Yes, dating can get expensive – especially if you are going on multiple dates a day – that’s the reality now. The online dating apps are so easy and accessible that everyone seems to be hedging their bets and instead of trying to get to know someone and putting in some effort and time, they meet you for a nanosecond at a crowded coffee shop and access you instantly – which, in reality, is more to see if you are the person in the pictures. I get that coffee is cheap and if you play it right you don’t even have to pay for theirs…that’s the one I like the most. I wonder if that trick is in a book?
What I found most amusing about the new dating world is that I am a Taco Bell and beach type of girl. My ideal date is going through the drive-thru at Taco Bell and hanging out at sunset on the beach and getting to know each other. Walking hand in hand – enjoying nature, the beauty of the surroundings, and experiencing each other - really listening to what the other has to say without the noise and interruptions in a crowded restaurant. But, I guess it’s a good thing I’ve learned to like coffee shops now…
While my good friend, Richie, was visiting in November we made a short film (2 minutes) about online dating. We wanted to practice our video and storytelling skills so we gave each other an assignment. Three ideas. We would meet Sunday morning and decide what to shoot and our project would be done in a day. Richie had an awesome concept about telling a story entirely with our hands – no words. He wanted to see if we could convey meaning and emotion without words. I loved it! I wanted something to do with the passage of time so we put that element in there too with sand filling a half-moon bottle. The soundtrack is an original song by Richie. I hope you will watch and enjoy and come back for more!